Weekend Recap : 10 Questions

oscars 2013

{She’s so cool, and so relaxed… DUDE SHE FELL IN THE STAIRS. I should practice falling in the stairs, just so that I can one up her. Look at how fun she looks. LOOK AT MY GREAT SHORT HAIR. My mother tells me I’m the best at everything, I am, right? RIGHT?}

I think we can all agree that the week we just said farewell to, was a terrible one. Β  Nothing tragic happened, don’t get me wrong. I probably won’t even remember it in 3 months, but it felt so gd long and hard. Throw in the extra snow and some late nights = barforama.

The weekend was a welcome respite from the grind of the daily routine, yet it wasn’t so restful. A full 4 hours in the kitchen to make these, these and some chicken? Really? Why should that take 4 hours?

Anyways, I ate my weight in those buns and had prepped some viewing material for the big O night. Since cutting cable and bumping our internet speed, I’ve discovered the wonderful world of Internet movies. {Insert discussion of ethics and copyright infringement in torrent downloading}. So I was getting up there in the Films Seen category. The Master, Django Unchained, The Impossible, Zero Dark Thirty, Argo… all under my belt.

THE SHOW:

Now we can all agree that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey pretty much decimated any other potential hosts. For the duration of the existence of these types of awards shows. So it was a tough act to follow for Seth MacFarlane and you could tell that all eyes were on him.

The show left me lukewarm- not terribly amused by MacFarlane, not totally disappointed. He looked awkward and nervous, but he didn’t throw it in. He didn’t pull a Franco (which was hilarious, you have to admit), but he wasn’t amazing. He was barely good. I could have done without that boob song and the crack about Adele’s weight. It’s time to bring some ladies to stage. My call for next year: Tina and Amy, or why not try Robert Downey Jr and Sandra Bullock?

THE QUESTIONS:

  1. Why so many lame musical numbers? WHY?
  2. Weird dudes with long hair, WHERE did you come from?
  3. Catherine Zeta Jones? Again?
  4. Can we make a request for a doctor on behalf of William Shatner? I was nervous he was going to start crying blood.
  5. Were all tuxedos made of spandex?
  6. Why did Jennifer Garner put her dress on backwards?
  7. How can Jennifer Lawrence FALL and still look cute and humble?
  8. Could Anne Hathaway be ANY MORE ANNOYING?
  9. How can make up artists not make up for the oddly deforming hi-def cameras?
  10. Can we get a Joachim Phoenix cam, just to track his discomfort? Did anyone see him shaking his head when they read out his name in the Best Actor Category? Also, why was there no envelope?

THE DRESSES:

I loved this dress- sure it was heavy on the metalics, but that asymmetric neckline was Cate Blanchett worthy. And how gorgeous is she? Even with the hi def cameras.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a Halle Berry fan. She needs to change it up, and frankly, I’ve never been able to recover from the Berry/Thorton love scene in that Monster’s Ball. Ever. It’s permanently implanted in my brain. BUT, this dress has an exquisite silhouette and I adore the shoulders. It looks smoking on here, but then again, so would a Northern Reflections turtleneck.

This was the winner for me. Hands down. Armani Couture. The proportions on this bodice are spot on, unlike a lot of the other strapless dresses that were featured- yeah, I’m talking to you Jennifer Lawrence and you Reese Witherspoon (although I liked the navy and black business).

Oscars 2013: Worst Dressed List

Just quickly now, I leave these two examples up. Without comment, save for…” Really, Kirsten Stewart? There was no comb in the limo?”

In conclusion, it seems like the neither the Academy nor the Designers could make up their minds. There was little rhyme or reason to the wins or the trends on the carpets. Rest assured though, we can always count on Helena Bonham Carter looking like this…

 Helena Bonham Carter,

and to be honest, I’m pretty sure there’s a bird in there.Β  It’s the same every year, and it warms my heart every time I see it.

Here’s to a little more Helena Bonham Carter in our lives…

xo

e

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