I was once witness to a conversation in which a 10 year old , in speaking to her mother, referred to our station wagon as a piece of shit. I have been heckled at, called a whale from a passing driver, told that I needed to lose 40 pounds while I was running. I have received my fair share of unsolicited opinions about myself. And yet I continue to spend time and energy time worrying about how people perceive me. Will they think I’m arrogant, is it too selfish to say, do I look professional enough, will they be disappointed, can they see the beard?
Much of our thinking time is spent in negative thought. This book is shit, the traffic is garbage, this election is terrible, I should have worked harder, done the dishes, worked out.
In an effort to increase my self-care and tame my own negative though vortexi (plural of vortex), I am calling myself out on my cynicism and snap judgements.
Exploring where this initial negativity surges from and trying to wade through what I need to keep and what I need to discard. In most of my own life I can honestly say that cynicism is absolutely not worth holding onto. Cultivating relationships based on trust, empathy and compassion cannot happen if we’re busy ripping ourselves to shred because we didn’t get all our things done on our list.
And I’ll dial this up to 11 and ask myself the loaded question: if I’m so concerned about how people perceive me, is it not because I spend my own energy judging and perceiving others?
I know someone who loves fruit punch. Like Red Dye 40 Fruit Punch. And the judgement came crashing down at first. And now, well, the fruit punch doesn’t really make the man, does it? Yes, I find red fruit punch medley to be base, pedestrian, cancerous, vile and the product of an industrial food system that is ravaging the world. So am I, really at my deepest core, the person that judges self-worth based on fruit punch? I was. OH HOW I WAS. But I am a recovering judger.
Trying to meet the world with curiosity instead.
Despite all my concerns of how others judge me…. I can fully assert and own (will they think I’m a narcissist?) that
I make wonderful lentils
It’s not rocket science. It certainly does not solve any problems pertaining to food security or access to clean water. But it’s a real tangible meal. It’s very inexpensive and when topped with a fresh egg.. it can’t be beat. If I had a lunch restaurant, it would be served at every occasion.
Warm lentils with a poached egg. Black coffee. As Oprah would say, 5 star moment in the making.
It starts with good quality little brown French lentils (I get mine from the Food Coop that serves our area, they are from CANADA, if you can imagine that!), water and salt. Even with those basic ingredients, what comes out after 35 minutes or so is the foundation for a soulful meal. Do they think that sounds cliché?
So if you’re searching for a lunch option that you can make a batch of and never have to ask yourself, what’s for lunch. And if you come for a visit to GAcres, you know already what you’ll be served: